#But somehow better than the live action remake

[rowie264]

im so upset over season 2 man. im venting rn, but if they just followed the most obvious progression after the end of season 1 it literally would have been fine, even without the other writers. like what tf happened. how do you screw up that bad. they added so many things that just did not need to happen.

also i can't read these writers interviews anymore they seem to be genuinely stupid like how did they ever end up in charge of this

like the intro and the trailers somehow have a better plot than the actual season

What truly upsets me is lost potential. The cinema is now full of remakes, live actions and sequels with prequels from famous franchises. And lately, the level of writing has also been disappointing. But Arcane? It was different. It was so fucking good dammit. It stood out for it's elaboration of characters and story. It was level ahead of everything else in recent years. But what did we get in s2? Product of mcu level. Nothing as deep as in s1. Nothing so well written that you can empathize with seemingly "bad" people. Nothing logical in character's actions. Just fan-service with ships and big badass battle in the end. And it's not like it's very very bad. I can think of media that is much worse. But to say that Arcane is "not as shitty as it could be"? I never imagined that I would say such a thing. Arcane shouldn't be on the same level as mcu for goddess's sake. That's what is really sad.

[joshscorcher]

What to you think of the new teaser trailer of the new How to Train Your Dragon? Cause if you still think like "nobody asked for this and nobody wanted this" then with all due respect but you're sick, you're crazy, you have problems, there's no way around it, don't be the annoying one. Seriously, this thought that "no one asked for it or that it's unnecessary" is ridiculous, unfair, saturated, and it's just a complete nuisance, complain just for the sake of it. The world liked and want it. Facts

Well, what is it going to offer me that I can't get from the original?

Is it going to improve on the original? If not, then why should I give them my money?

From the pattern of these live-action remakes, they tend to be vastly inferior to the original, and in some cases outright show contempt for the original, and I have better things to do than waste my time on something I know I won't enjoy. I don't like this attitude that many seem to have that a film becoming live action somehow inherently improves it. I also don't like this insinuation that I'm obligated to enjoy the live action remake.

[dark-elf-writes]

My niece wanted me to watch the live action little mermaid with her earlier, so we sat down and watched it. Since I've never watched it before, I wasn't quite sure what to expect, and all in all, it was pretty good except for-

The animals.

Dear god, the animals.

Flounder constantly stares at nothing with his huge soulless eyes,

Scuttle has expressions so manically insane that the Cheshire Cat is taking notes,

Flotsam and Jetsam are the only ones that don't inspire the kind of utter uncanny valley terror a gothic horror writer would kill to be able to inflict upon their readers,

And Sebastian-

The less said about him, the better. The horrid little demon skitters through my waking nightmares, and I assume he will still somehow manage to do so even after I am long dead.

But apart from the animals, pretty decent movie, all things considered.

I don’t remember much about when this movie came out but wasn’t there like a running joke that making the fish look live action just made everything look more like animal abuse than a girl messing with her little fishy friend.

Also, just in general, I don’t think any Disney movie needs a live action remake but specifically the little mermaid when so much of the cast is fish seems like a weird choice. I love fish. Fish are great. Fish are not the cutest animals. Like idk maybe just keep that one cartoonish

[etheluu]

Burned

🔗 Render credits here

A vent render about an experience of mine. I wanted to make it for literal weeks now but never felt strong enough mentally to actually do so. Finally though, I actually made it and I'm proud of it and I actually feel better mentally because of it.

I'm gonna talk about the experiences that this render represents under the cut. TWs are in the tags.

Wooo, okayyy time for some heavy topics.

If you know me from Twitter, you might remember that I once posted a render with a message how my ex was a pedophile. If not, here it is anyway:

This post doesn't represent the whole situation in a perfect manner so I apologize for that. I did (and still kind of do) want to remake it, write about it better and find better evidence from what I still have. Although this topic, even 2 years later, is still hard for me to talk about it, especially in greater details.

Either way, yeah, basically I was groomed by my now ex and the trauma lives on.

Back in around the summer of 2023, I attented therapy meeting that made me realize what my ex did to me. I also talked to my friends about this whole ordeal, which helped me to cope with it better. If I didn't actually open up to them about it all, I might have not even realized that I was groomed so I'm forever thankful to them.

And ever since then, I was just at mercy of the trauma that came out of this experience. It's not pleasant.

I haven't really found any way to cope with it all nor found any good outlet for all these emotions. If keeping things to myself was a job, I'd have a pretty stable income and could live comfortably on my own. Although from time to time, I'll make a render to express my feelings somehow, just like this one.

Honestly I was inspired to make it from a post I saw some time ago on tumblr. I can't find it now but it went something like this:

I was freezing and you were a fire. I knew that your flames would hurt me but warmth is warmth either way.

And it resonated with me and my experiences. I was a naive teen who wanted some affection, no matter who it was from. So then I found myself in this situation, where I'm scared/don't want to say no because either I was scared that she'd leave me, therefore I would lose the only source of affection/emotional support/whatever, or I just didn't see anything wrong with her actions at the time.

I remember just zoning out during her having her fun with me (iykyk) when I just wanted to go to sleep. It happened way more than just one time.

Man, I was living in absolute denial about my actual feelings during that relationship. But at least I'm out of it and can slowly heal.

Wish I could say something more about this topic but yeah. Got groomed and now I'm traumatized. But I'm living on, even with that baggage. I'm coping with humor so if you ever see me address this as my character/lore development, then that's the reason.

Also I'm posting this partially because I don't want her actions to be forgotten. I'm petty about it but if I'm being harrased by the consequences of her actions, so does she will be. She's a pedophile forever in my eyes now and I won't be afraid to say it anymore.

[starfata]

Snow White

Went to the cinema today and saw the movie!

Honestly, not a bad movie. Some parts were excellent, Flower Crown girl in particular had me tearing up. I loved Dopey. I liked Jonathan a lot, despite the almost hoodie costume. Rachel Zegler did a good job portraying the emotions she was meant to be portraying, Gal Gadot was Sinister in parts.

The real problem- they couldn't decide whether to do a straight up live action remake of the cartoon, to do an Modern Disney version of the story ala Tangled or Disney descendants, or to do a slightly grimmed up version of the story where Snow White joins a rebellion, or whether Snow White's purity of heart is why she's the true Queen.

So they tried to do it all, and in parts that conflicted.

Gal Gadot started out as a Sinister, deceitfuls sorceress, but her songs were Campy Evil and her ending- was thematic, but mostly anti climatic. The whole taking the kingdom back was anti climatic.

Jonathan- honestly was pretty fine, but they could have had him escape imprisonment through using thief/actor skills. And maybe have included a performance troupe in the same festival with the apple pies. Not necessarily to kick-start the romance, but just for fun/foreshadowing.

The bandits- why the wishy washy of having them be 'fighting in the name of the true king'. Confusing, when they're a bandit troupe ala Mirror Mirror rather than a resistance like Snow White and the Huntsman. I get that was their excuse, but I would have preferred no excuse.

And the Snow White Haircut was my single biggest criticism- I managed to get used to the dress, although I did think it was weird she was wearing such a nice dress to go pick apples when we'd seen her in a maids dress to do her chores but you know what that was in the original cartoon so we'll let it go. But I kept noticing how bad the haircut was.

Best thing to do? If they Absolutely Had to have the haircut, the children's costume ready dress and Very Noticeable necklace? (Which I kept Noticing, almost as much as the hair.)

Have her flee the Huntsman in the last days of Autumn, take shelter with the dwarves throughout Winter, meet with the bandits in Spring for the Queen's second attempt on her life.

Imply more meetings. Jonathan has her necklace out of affection, maybe gives her a token in return for her to wear. Something like a wooden pendant. They're planning to go south, it's getting too dangerous.

The Queen happens again in Summer- Jonathan captured, she takes a disguise and poisons with the first of a new Apple harvest. Uses SW's locket to track her somehow.

You know what? That would have given them a whole new costume to sell And had them let Snow White's hair grow out to show her healing from her time uner the Queen's power And overcome a common criticism of Disney Princesses falling in love too quickly by extending the Romance with the implication of time passing! Good things grow romantic reprise!

The Queen should have either been more obviously concerned with her beauty in and of itself, or been driven to the Mirror with loyal/magicked minions by the townspeople and bandits, attempted to use it in a spell and broken it in a rage when it didn't work because She's Not the Fairest.

Because I get the point they were trying to prove, but the talking was kind of boring. And I didn't really understand why the Queen would come out to try convince her subjects she was a better queen than Snow White. Wasn't her whole deal that beauty=power and might makes right?

If the rebels breaking into the throne room wasn't an option, have the confrontation in the courtyard, with her about to witness Snow's execution- and then have Snow escapes her bonds using a trick Jonathan showed her.

Snow White could have won over Paul etc, but the Captain who tried to put a crossbow bolt in her head? He could have been banished or something. Died with the Queen. Whatever.

[heinzpilsner]

(Writing this instead of watching a new trailer for the live action, because my timing is perfect as ever!)

...Anyway, here's a proper "smart and serious"™ remake of my "mixed signals zutara Southern Raiders" post (because my own poor choice of terminology I'm talking about you Sexual Frustration didn't sit quite well with me). Also, I realized some new things. And I'm a perfectionist of sorts! So, yep.

Let's analyze Zuko's and Katara's heated confrontation in the first half properly.

What Zuko actually said:

"Everyone else seems to trust me now! What is it with you? ... What can I do to make it up to you?"

What Katara heard:

- Zuko doesn't differenciate Katara from all the other group members -> he doesn't think much about their intimate connection in Ba Sing Se;

- He doesn't realise the implications of what his betrayal meant in the context of the said connection (i.e., he's either a callous liar who never really cared about her grief or a volatile person who can change his mind way too easily and hence can't be trusted);

- After hearing her out, he offered to make up for his betrayal, but did not apologize for his insensitivity. He still don't get it, the idiot!

(Was he hesitant to approach this topic directly with Katara being so furious, or genuinely just didn't get it? I wonder. He sounds like a person unaffected by the catacombs, but clearly doesn't act like one. Almost as if he was affected, but never realized the extent by which Katara was affected as well).

What Katara actually said to Zuko:

"Everyone trusts you? I was the first person to trust you! Back in Ba Sing Se. You betrayed me and all of us! ... You could reconquer Ba Sing Se, or you could bring my mother back!"

What she was implying:

- She was personally hurt by his betrayal ("Everyone else"?! She was (is) not just "everyone else" for him!);

- Either she's using the "bringing back the dead mother" idea only as another metaphor of impossibility of their reconciliation, or, as Zuko suspected, this also implies that her anger at him is somehow connected to the topic.

There are two possible readings of Katara's slip of the tongue though:

1) Zuko's dense hypothesis: Katara simply projects on him her hatred for the Fire Nation and Yon Rha specifically;

2) Romantic hypothesis (which recontextualizes the whole dialogue in retrospect): Zuko's and Katara's connection in Ba Sing Se was based on the shared trauma of their lost mothers. So, this (in the light of the future events) is just another hint that Katara is hurt by Zuko's insensitivity. It signals she still have feelings for him, which in some measure fuels Katara's fury. This interpretation is supported by heavy romantic framing of the scene (Katara's physical agression adds a hint of sexuality to the mix as well, implying a suppressed desire to touch. It's no more than my speculation though, but usually, when I see a "shoulder check" trop in media, it occurs between two guys in the middle of some school, not between an angry girl and a sad boy under the full moon, you know).

Now, the funny thing. Previously, the second half of the episode didn't make much sense to me after the first one, because I saw those two hypotheses as incompatible within the same narrative logic. But just now, I found a different in-universe logical explanation for such a conclusion.

You see, Zuko's dense reading implies what from the start he saw the whole "facing Yon Rha" business as an attempt to redirect Katara's hate/anger from him onto it's "right" sourse. "Better him than me" logic, I guess. (Gosh, Zuko, not so selfless!)

They go with the plan based on the Zuko's interpretation, and Katara forgives him as a result, which means his reading of the situation was the only correct one, right? Wrong!

Because for once, Zuko was lucky. He didn't really voice his reasons out loud to Katara, and she decided that his primary motivation was lying elsewhere.

Namely, that he finally understood the imortance of their connection in Ba Sing Se and wanted to show her he did sincerely care about her grief (He was also lucky it kinda was the truth. Just... not the whole truth, you know).

(Btw, acknowledging Katara's hurt feelings is the only thing that could turn Zuko's "I waited out here all night" stunt from creepy and inappropriate into more or less okay in her eyes in retrospect, so... Yep. Another evidence for this hypothesis.)

So, while Zuko saw this trip as an attempt to manage Katara's hatred (and what an awful idea it was, but that's not the point now), Katara herself saw it as a test for Zuko's sincerity (which he passed).

And, I guess, as a happy result of this little miscommunication (and despite the crying unhealthiness of the whole "facing Yon Rha" idea), Katara was finally able to forgive him, yay!

(Do not try this at home though, boys and girls. I'm serious, those kids need their therapy.)

... The only problem though is what this miscommunication wasn't exactly addressed openly in the show itself. It's kinda just here, in the middle of the whole "to kill or not to kill" mess, and I had to strain my brain really hard to come to this conclusion (but I'm not really a smart person, after all). Still, this is the only reading of events what turns the episode's narrative into something that feels logical and consistent to me, you know.

But... After such a heavy romantic framing in the beginning (I mean, "What's with her? What's with him?" questions alone are basically screaming "those two have something between them we all can't explain by most obvious reasons"), you'd expect something more substantial would happen between the characters in the end. ... I'm just saying. I know it could't happen.

Ouch.

[themattress]

Yet ANOTHER Xehanort Post

Because I had some thoughts following this post and now I want to get them out.

Not counting any version of Coded where he never appeared except in stingers nor 0.2 BBS which is more of a tech demo / prologue / direct lead-in to KH3 than a full game plus had an appearance that was more of an illusionary mind screw than real, the games where Xehanort shows up can be divided, evenly and neatly, by two lines into Peak, Mid and Ruination.

Peak Xehanort was in KH, CoM, KH2 and Days. He was at his best when he was the amnesiac apprentice of Ansem the Wise who usurped his master's name and position before splitting into a Heartless and Nobody, both of whom fixated on absorbing Kingdom Hearts and remaking the world through utilizing the Keyblade and the Keyblade Master which dovetailed nicely into the not-subtle hints that he himself was a Keyblade wielder in his forgotten past. If Xehanort was to be brought back, then it should've picked up from here.

But instead, it was picked up from BBS, which is Mid Xehanort. Once you get past the weirdness of Xehanort being an old man who possessed a young man before being stricken with amnesia, it works since Terra and Master Xehanort were well-written, with a very good victim-villain relationship and both possessing traits that would surface in the character they ended up becoming. Master Xehanort had a particularly good goal: destroy and remake the world because he wanted to conduct a grand experiment to see what it was like and what would happen, and he wanted it to be him specifically who pulled it off. It tied in perfectly with the traits we already knew of Xehanort: a scientific obsession with broadening his horizons and gaining knowledge, and hubris that twists into a god complex. The issue that held him back was that he was hampered by a two-dimensionally evil portrayal (that was admittedly entertaining), a total blur in regards to what motivated his goal, and a facepalm-inducingly contrived backstory of living on Destiny Islands in his youth. That's what makes him Mid.

What is frustrating about his Ruination is how each successive game in it somehow ruined him even worse than the one before. DDD was bad enough, inventing time travel for his younger self and retconning the lore behind the X-Blade in order to turn him into this nigh-omnipotent mastermind who was progressing a convoluted master plan this whole time (trivializing all of his prior incarnations and schemes in the process, to say nothing of the heroes / players' work in thwarting them) and who split himself into many different characters at once which made him more of a plot device than a person. But at least there he seemed to be formidable enough with how he'd backed the heroes into a corner, and his goal appeared to be the same as before. KH3 not only made a total mockery of him, his plan, and his organization even as it continued to talk him up as "the most powerful Keyblade Master ever" and "planning for every eventuality", but his backstory changed again with the reveal he had been a boy in Scala ad Caelum, the X-Blade lore changed again in a way that blatantly contradicted the previous games which officially made all his actions in BBS make no logical sense, and his blurry motivation became a clear one that had never been hinted as a possibility before (it in fact was in total contradiction to his established character!) which thus changed his goal from scientific curiosity into well-intentioned fascism. The Re:Mind DLC gave him a better send-off, but it also retconned his past some more in a way that made it clear what a tool he was, making all that hype given to him since DDD feel pointless.

Dark Road then built off him being a boy in Scala ad Caelum, his fascist motive rant, and the DLC scene of his past, giving him a full-on "sympathetic" backstory that really isn't that sympathetic at all (Eraqus suffered the exact same trauma and while flawed he didn't become a straight-up evil psychopath) and even turned him into this special snowflake descendant of Ephemer (the founder of Scala ad Caelum and its order of Keyblade wielders) who is also this important prophesized "Child of Destiny", which officially takes anything that was remotely relatable about Xehanort and throws it in the trash. We even find out that Master Xehanort isn't even that old and just shaved his head, meaning that he had no good reason to ever possess Terra other than "it was etched!" And Melody of Memory is the final gut-punch, as it takes the original Xehanort we started out with and turns him into an idiot who somehow thinks the very young child he kidnapped is a willing co-conspirator and thus talks to her like an adult who would understand or remember all the convoluted jargon that he's espousing, leaving Xemnas as the only remotely respectable incarnation of Xehanort.

You suck, Xehanort. And you suck even harder for making him suck, Nomura!

[piko-rose]

If DreamWorks SOMEHOW manages to make live action remakes better than Disney, I will laugh my ass off and watch the movie on physical release out of respect! XD

[got-your-back-always-will]

Netflix's Avatar: The Last Airbender live-action remake verdict: Honestly not that bad. Would watch another season if they make another one.

The good: Fire Nation machinations, shenanigans and backstories.

The bad: Some gawdawful, clunky and needlessly expositional dialogue.

Feels like the first season of a TV show that hasn't ironed out its rough edges.

I don't know if it's a case of the creatives really favoring Fire Nation characters or the fact that they could hire more experienced actors for the Fire Nation roles so they could throw more at them but the material for them just felt better. There's a lot of trauma being explored but the material for the Fire Nation characters has felt less clunky than it has for Katara and Aang.

As for the dialogue... there is this thing where even renowned shows have some pretty dire dialogue but they get away with it because they have some great actors who can hide it better, drown it with dramatic background music, put some sort of action onscreen that pulls more of the viewer's attention, or the words are spoken in some sort of British accent and somehow that's enough to distract the viewer from how much the the dialogue actually sucks.

I didn't look over all the screenwriting credits but I wonder if they were a bunch of different people and they were all told to hammer certain points of exposition in and nobody thought, "Hey, we said/showed this is that episode so we don't need to do that again here."

And there's things where you kind of forgive them for concentrating so much material on Omashu because set design production is so expensive that they have to make use of that as much as possible. The cost also goes into why Momo and Appa feel like props more than characters.

(Gotta say it's a little jarring to watch Ozai scenes but your brain is still processing it as Hiroshi Sato's voice. Also kind of amusing that a guy known for playing an "Appa" is playing Iroh here.)

When projects are rebooted or remade I like to ask why it exists. Is it just a cynical cash-grab? Is it a bunch of people who want to cosplay in a fictional world that they love? Is there a specific storytelling reason why it's being made? Is it a take from a different point of view? I appreciate this remake existing but I don't really see a creative reason for it.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Bowser

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Most of the time, saying a character needs no introduction is a bit of an exaggeration, because there is always the chance, however slim, that someone has not heard of that character. That’s not the case here, though; you could go to the deepest, most isolated jungle tribe on Earth, ask the villagers if they’ve heard of Mario, and they’ll all start singing out the Mario theme music. With that in mind, today’s subject absolutely needs no introduction, but out of respect for the King of Koopas I’ll give him one anyway: This is Bowser.

Bowser is not simply a video game villain. Bowser is THE video game villain. Like Mario, Peach, and Luigi, this big old turtle is pretty much a household name, loved far and wide for his iconic design, simple yet effective boss battles, and his inexplicable yet somehow still understandable sexiness. The question is, can I make it through this review without making some sort of crude comment about the raw sexuality the King of Koopas exudes? Lets find out!

Motivation/Goals: Bowser from day one has always been a pretty simple man. All he wants in life is those peaches, peaches, peaches… And I mean, really, can you blame him?

Yes, his motivations and goals are pretty simple and shallow, but he always manages to make something as trite as rescuing a damsel in distress fun and refreshing. His strict adherence to basic formula leaves a lot of room for mixing things up though, and this same adherence makes the times when he breaks tradition and does something like fight on Mario’s side all the better. And sometimes it’s clear Bowser just wants to relax and fuck around by karting, playing board games, or competing in some sort of sport.

It’s a fun little twist on that old “Knight rescues a princess from a dragon,” except the dragon is a giant turtle and the knight is an Italian plumber (a more powerful force than any knight could hope to be). Of course, the fact Bowser is incredibly obsessed with a woman despite her wanting nothing to do with him means that Bowser is—you guessed it—a

Performance: Hoo boy, are there a lot of Bowser voice actors.

The cartoons used Harvey Atkins, who delivered a fun and cartoonish take on Bowser; Marc Graue voiced him in Hotel Mario, but this isn’t shocking as he was basically every male character in that game; Peter Cullen technically voiced him from 1996 to 2006 due to archival roars he provided for the 1976 remake of King Kong being repurposed for Bowser’s own roars; Charles Martinet provided his iconic evil laughs for 64; Kenny James is his current voice actor; Jack Black turned in a very against type performance in the Illumination movie; and Dennis Hopper of all people portrayed him in the live action film from the 90s. And these are just the ones I wanted to highlight! There are a few English voice actors I skipped as well as his extensive Japanese voice cast! Here’s the complete list, just so I’m not here all day:

The point I’m trying to make is this: Bowser’s iconic status is completely a group effort, and each of these dudes helped contribute to Bowser’s status in our hearts and minds in their own unique ways.

Final Fate: It really depends on the game or movie or whatever, but he is always defeated by Mario at any rate. Sometimes he’s simply defeated and sent on his way; sometimes he’s captured and imprisoned, like in the animated movie; and sometimes he just fucking dies, like in the live action movie and New Super Mario Bros. Don’t worry, he gets better.

Best Scene: Bowser in the earlier games had rather simple boss fights, though they weren’t completely unmemorable. Still, out of his early days it’s hard to deny his epic battle against Yoshi in the finale of Yoshi’s Island, where his child self is grown to gargantuan size and ominously lumbers towards you from the background while a hardcore boss tune blasts through your speakers, is the peak of his NES/SNES days.

Then we have his early forays into 3D, and it’s inarguable that the boss fights he has against Mario in the timeless classic Super Mario 64 are some of his best, even if they are rather simplistic. I mean, this is where we got “So long, Gay Bowser!” from, can you really deny its place in Mario history? And those are just a couple! We could probably sit here all day talking about his great battles in games like Odyssey, New Super Mario Bros, Galaxy, and so on.

Bowser’s most impressive showing outside of the games is The Super Mario Bros. Movie. The initial teaser for the film, which showcased his opening fight against the penguin kingdom, really helps establish Bowser as the threat he is, and the final battle and the wedding scene in the movie are some of his greatest villain moments to date. But I’m going to be cliché and give the spotlight to his villain song, “Peaches.”

Here’s the thing, though: As a song, “Peaches” kind of sucks. It’s just Jack Black saying “Peaches” fifty times in a row and then making Jack Black noises. But that’s also what makes it so genuinely great; in the hands of a lesser actor/musician, this really would just be the dumbest shit imaginable, but in the hamtastic hands of Jack Black the song has become an instant legend. I think the visuals and the beautiful piano playing really help, not to mention the official music video where JB dresses up as Bowser and tosses peaches around. Lyrically it’s nothing to write home about, but man does the performance really sell it.

Oh yeah and there’s this too:

Final Thoughts & Score

It is near impossible to overstate how iconic, important, and downright awesome Bowser is.

Like, this guy is the final boss. He pretty much codified what that means in terms of video games, being one of the first iconic big bads of gaming and the first adversary a lot of gamers fought. It’s kind of hard to believe today, but the original Mario games were genuinely some of the most groundbreaking games of all time, and the only reason it’s hard to believe is because video games have been building off the groundwork they laid down back in the 80s. Bowser is no exception; every single video game villain, especially platformer villains, owes a debt of gratitude to the king of the Koopas.

I think part of the reason Bowser has managed to survive and thrive through console generation after console generation is because he, much like the rest of the core Mario cast, is extremely versatile as a character and can slip into any situation with relative ease. He can be an evil overlord, a bratty child, a loving father, a kart racer, an Olympic champion, a platform fighter combatant, the owner of a Coney Island disco palace, a giant skeleton, a board game player, it doesn’t matter! Bowser can do it all! He can be a goofy, bumbling comedy villain or he can be a galaxy-destroying threat that would make Thanos shit himself, he has range like you wouldn’t believe!

It helps that both times he has shown up in a movie he has managed to be a scene-stealing smorgasbord of ham and cheese. Dennis Hopper’s madcap, in-it-for-the-money-but-not-half-assing-it performance in the live action film is so delightfully over the top that he manages to make the mere act of saying “Monkey” and “Bob-Omb” memorable and meme-worthy. While he’s a bit far off from what you’d totally want from Bowser, and his saurian form gets relegated to a two second cameo before his death, it’s hard for me to really give him less than a solid 7/10. He’s just too damn fun.

Meanwhile, Jack Black delivered a performance so good that it makes it easy to overlook the many problems the movie has (like its terrible needle drops). He’s just so fun, funny, and even genuinely intimidating, perfectly mixing all of the traits that make people love Bowser into one big, juicy package. I think everyone knew this was going to be a 10/10 performance right from the moment it was announced, but still it was pretty impressive just how well Black was able to slip into Bowser to the point he was almost unrecognizable at times.

No one would argue that Bowser deserves less than an 11/10; he is genuinely one of the single most important characters of the 21st century, and has made a mark on gaming that very few villains could match. He is to final bosses what Dracula is to vampires, what the Wicked Witch is to witches, and what Fu Manchu is to racist caricatures of Asian people. Other villains have more depth and complexity than Bowser, but that doesn’t really matter when he kidnaps Peach for the thousandth time and throws an army of freaky mushroom men and crazy turtles at you, because you’re gonna be there helping Mario stomp those Goombas to get to him. Bowser is just an icon, and his place in video game history is absolutely, utterly gargantuan.

JUST LIKE HIS DICK!

[corvidcall]

just saw the live action little mermaid. it was actually surprisingly good!! i had some complaints (daveed diggs as Sebastian was fine , but it would have been better to have someone who was actually Jamaican, some of the underwater scenes were poorly lit, realistic fish Flounder looked nasty, awkwafina was unbearable, etc) but overall I think I came away with more positives to say about it than negatives. Ariel and Eric were really cute, and I liked that they really played up why they would have this connection (theyre both such huge fucking nerds!! they both want freedom and to explore!!). Melissa Mccarthy was actually good as Ursula, and it was fun whenever she was on screen. Two of the three original songs were actually pretty solid! (the third was frankly one of the worst songs I've ever been forced to endure)

but most of all im just glad that they didnt try to make it NOT the little mermaid. one of the things thats really annoyed me about a lot of more recent Disney movies is that they all seem to be... idk a little embarrassed to be Disney movies? Frozen's comments about how weird it is to marry a man you just met, the jokes in Moana about her being a princess, whatever the fuck was going on in Wreck it Ralph 2 with the princesses talking about how fucked up all their stories are. And then in all the live action remakes they keep trying to respond to criticisms (real or imagined) of the original films, with stuff like adding in all the bullshit abt Belles mom in beauty and the beast, or Jasmine's song about how she wont be silenced in Aladdin, or idk girlbossifying Shinzi and Nala in the Lion King. Its really grating, honestly!!! it immediately takes me out of the experience, and it just seems like Disney is trying to act like disney princesses are sooo embarrassing and cringe and problematic, like thats somehow NOT their bread and butter and like thats not why we all LIKE disney movies. its incredibly grating

so i was really glad that the live action Little Mermaid wasnt trying to convince us it wasnt actually a princess movie for little girls, or that it wasnt a romance. if anything, it was MORE a romance than the original, because so much more time was spent on eric and ariel and their bond. it was good!

[deanpinterester]

the problem (aside from disney's corporate greed) is the utter disrespect for animation as a medium. the point of animation IS that you can have these non-human animals be expressive and not have it seem out of place and goofy. the fact that they looked at the original film and thought "this would be better if it were CG and also completely emotionless" just completely disregards what even made the original film work in the first place. it's the very idea that the final form for every piece of media Must be live action (or "live action"). that's the problem with all of these disney live action remakes. they don't justify why they're live action except to make more money for disney.

the worst part for me is that they absolutely COULD have made the CG animals emotive. we're not in the 2000s anymore. we don't have to put CG mouths on real animals like Charlotte's Web because fully CG animals would have been too uncanny to look at. movies like Call of the Wild (yes the infamous harrison ford movie where a man played a dog in motion capture) had some of the most emotive yet somehow realistic CG animal animation i've ever seen (which did not work for that movie specifically, but would have worked for a fully rendered movie like Lion King). netflix's Okja features a giant super pig as a co-protagonist and you can see the intelligence and emotion in its eyes. i'd argue even disney's own live action Lady and the Tramp had more expression than these lions. The Lion King didn't take advantage of its medium. instead they opted for realism, which should not be the point in a movie where safari animals can talk. they should be showcasing their character animation.

and yes, the movie is beautiful, sure. it is beautifully rendered and very realistic. but plenty of movies are beautiful. Dune is beautiful. Blade Runner 2049 is beautiful. i'm not going to act like Lion King isn't beautiful, but i also wouldn't call it uniquely so. disney could have taken the budget and rnd and the talent of their artists and given them literally any project and it would be beautiful and cool as hell. but instead they put it towards disney live action remake #4726 and told the animators to give the most underwhelming character animation in an ANIMATED MOVIE and decided that was good enough.

I watched the live action version of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" on Youtube and I was not ready for the utter lack of emotions from the CGI animals.

Nala looking concerned about Simba hiding something about his past, a comparison:

Also, in CGI this song called "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" does not take place at night.

[ceolona]

A mixed bag

(Found this post in my Draft queue from six months ago. Yikes!)

Another movie pushed back a year. This time, the live action remake cash grab known as Snow White has fallen behind.

No surprise here. What is a surprise is this official promo picture. Gone are the seven representation checkboxes in favor of seven persons of diminutive stature with complexions whiter than snow.

Whatever. Somehow, I have a feeling that Bentkey's Snow White and the Evil Queen will be a better interpretation.

[litcityblues]

Room To Master More Elements

I was just a little bit too old to have the animated Avatar: The Last Airbender be an integral part of my childhood and I never bothered to watch the movie (I have heard it's terrible and might be inclined to check it out at some point, but I'm not going to fall all over myself to do so.). I've sort of half-heartedly started The Legend of Korra once or twice over the years, but it has never really clicked with me the way the original Avatar: The Last Airbender did.

Point is: this wasn't an integral part of my childhood experience. Should they never get around to making a Thundercats movie (or show), I will undoubtedly have feelings about that and what they get wrong versus what they get right- so I understand that people have feelings about the Netflix show. I get that people were worried when the original creators departed the show and thought it was a gigantic red flag. I get that people weren't happy that they toned down Sokka's sexism. I get all of that and I'm here to tell you this:

Take a deep breath and calm down. It's not at all bad and actually has the potential to be really, really good.

Set in a war-torn world where certain people can 'bend' one of the four classical elements (water, earth, air, and fire) every so often, an Avatar is chosen that can master all four disciplines and usually is tasked with bringing the world back into balance. As the show opens, the Fire Kingdom is conquering the other three Kingdoms-- the airbenders have been wiped out, the Earth Kingdom is under siege and the Waterbenders are nomadic tribes clustered at the north and south poles. Waterbender Katara (Kiawentiio) and Sokka (Ian Ousley) find Aang (Gordon Cormier) frozen in the ice and free him, the Avatar, who has been frozen for over a century finds a very different world than the one he remembers. All his friends and family are gone, the Fire Kingdom is after him and he is still 12 years old and struggling to understand his role as Avatar and how to master the elements so he can save the world.

Together the three companions set out to help Aang fulfill his destiny as Avatar, while pursued by Zuko (Dallas Liu) the exiled Prince of the Fire Nation, who wants to regain his honor by capturing Aang once and for all. With Zuko is Uncle Iroh (Paul Sun-Hyung Lee) who is a retired General of the Fire Nation who acts as both mentor and father figure to Zuko, whose actual father, The Fire Lord Ozai (Daniel Dae-Kim) is cruel and sadistic and whose sister Azula (Elizabeth Yu) is almost more sadistic and cruel than their father.

If you've seen the cartoon, you know that the show more or less hews to the plot of the first season of the cartoon. They tweak a few things here and there-- Azula is introduced far earlier here than in the original show for instance, but it ends with a confrontation between the Fire Nation and the Northern Water Tribe. Aang and his friends help the Waterbenders win-- but not without paying a heavy price.

I think if anything slows this adaptation down a bit, it might be their insistence on delivering the 'moments' that fans are going to expect to see in this show. And that's not a bad instinct to have, it's just that- especially when the show gets to Omashu and Aang meets his now elderly friend, Bumi, it becomes a little too much like the cartoon to the point where in the early going, you're left wondering why this feels like a live-action remake, not of the story of Avatar: The Last Airbender, but of the actual animated show itself. I think this show is going to need some time to master all four of the elements- much like Aang and happily, I think by the end of the first season you see signs of growth in that direction.

The casting for Fire Lord Ozai is brilliant- you can't get much better than Daniel Dae-Kim, but somehow, this show does, because they absolutely nailed the casting for Uncle Iroh. Paul Sun-Hyung Lee is perfect for this role and you get to see a little more of his backstory and his trauma of fighting in a war which helps you, the viewer understand the relationship he has with Zuko a lot better.

Did they tone down Sokka's sexism? Maybe a touch, but... not in a way that bothered me. It's a different medium, so an animated show/cartoon might be more inclined to be a little more direct with its themes, while a live-action show can be more subtle, perhaps? I didn't notice a dramatic difference in the character myself-- he's still young, brash, awkward, and sticks his foot in his mouth more than once, but he's also loyal to his friends and shows some personal growth throughout the season, which is what you want to see with the character.

It's largely the same with Katara and Aang. I feel like both of these young actors have the ability to really grow in these roles and while the growth with a little more pronounced with Katara this season (she gains a lot of knowledge and ability with her waterbending abilities throughout the season and gains confidence as well- I feel like Aang will get there as well-- his willingness to sacrifice himself to the elemental spirit in the final episodes (I'm trying not to be spoiler-y here) is a good sign for the next season.

Overall: There is room for this show to master all four elements. I think it will find its feet and while the early episodes could be a bit awkward and hew a little too closely to the animated show, by the end of the season, this show was starting to feel like it was finding its feet and gaining in both quality and confidence. It's earned enough from me to tune into another season- whenever they drop that onto Netflix. My Grade: *** out of ****

[moveslikeanape]

oh no worries at all! i post a lot and nobody can catch every single post on their dash anyway haha. i'm sorry you were having internet issues, i hope things are working better now.

aww, that's adorable how oliver basically named himself. reminds me that my dad used to have a cat named iam (pronounced the same way as "i'm"), who was named that because when he first got him he asked the cat what his name was, and his meow sounded to my dad like he was saying "iam".

oh yeah, i guess it's true that playing the events and leveling up your cards definitely can get time-consuming, and you need to level them up a lot to win the battles! there are people who post videos of the story on youtube as well as wiki pages that have transcriptions of the text, so that would be another option if you were really interested in the story but couldn't keep up with the game. were there any particular character designs you liked best? i love riddle's, of course, but i also really like idia's design.

yeah, unfortunately my first reaction to moana 2's announcement was confusion because i saw it on twitter, thought "uhh, that's weird, what about the show that's supposed to come out this year? they usually announce movies so much further in advance too", and actually wondered if it was a fake tweet for a second... i was excited about the show but i agree that this has the same vibes as those old direct-to-video sequels, which were very hit or miss. also agree about toy story 4 lol, i basically just remember that they went to a carnival and that's only because woody's dreamlight valley house is a carousel. and i remember the ending, but that's because i wasn't a fan of the ending. in my opion toy story 1-3 were a perfect trilogy.

raya is one of those movies that i feel very mixed on, honestly. i really like raya's personality and character arc, but i always thought the movie had a lot of writing flaws that made the story and its message feel rushed and confusing. i think a big reason why some people like it is because raya and namaari are... very shippable lol, so much that i believe raya's voice actress once said she'd like for them to get together in a sequel. but i agree about the animation being gorgeous!

exactly LOL, and i'm glad for those who did genuinely enjoy wish, but i think even they should be able to admit that it's a flawed movie and that others aren't "anti-disney morons" for criticizing it. a lot of the criticism is coming from people like me who love disney movies and expected better from them, and that's why people are so passionate about creating fanfiction and art based on the ideas shown in the concept art as well. somehow the concept art did a better job of reminding people of the classic disney movies we all love than the actual film did.

i think what i like about the trolls movies is that even though they are a bit cheesy and childish, they just feel very self-aware and fun. they also have some really nice stylized animation where they try to make everything look like it's made from felt/fabric/craft materials in general.

i would absolutely love if disney filmed their musicals and put them on disney+! in general, i've always thought that more broadway musicals should do that for people who can't travel or afford the tickets. also, with princess and the frog i feel like sometimes people forget that a live action remake would have us watching a bunch of CGI animals almost the whole time... i mean, tiana and naveen are frogs for 90% of it and then there's ray and louis too. i'd much rather see how disney could bring it, and the emperor's new groove as well, to the stage.

it's too bad your book didn't seem to mention why they changed terk! do you happen to know if they gave a reason for removing tantor? i imagine it was because they thought having an elephant character was too difficult to pull off, but i agree with you that it would've been really cool to see how they did it.

Internet seems to be all better now, thank you!

Awwww, that's such an adorable story! I love fun cat names like that, especially when they're so unique that no one else could possibly some up with it. Also love cats that have such distinctive meows/sounds.

Ooo, I'll have to look into those videos and wiki pages, thanks for the heads up! As for the designs, I think my favourite is a toss up between Leona and Kalim, although leaning a bit more towards Kalim. I definitely would have an easier feeling about Moana 2 if it weren't coming so fast. I could see how they could maybe do a decent job and make whatever the series would be a decent movie if they dedicated the time to it, but the time between the announcement of the series to it becoming a movie is just way too short, no way this is getting the proper treatment it needs.

Totally agree about the rushed feeling of Raya. The story should be the number 1 focus. You can add fun stuff (jokes, cute characters, etc...) once they story is tied down and if there's room for it, but if you rush the story to fit anything else in, you've just ruined the movie. No matter how visually stunning, it's not going to connect with the audience if the story is struggling.

That's so neat about Trolls, I love animation styles that go for a certain look, and making it look like the world is made of crafting materials is genius! I'm going to have to watch them someday!

Completely agree with you about PATF and ENG... one of the many things that annoyed me with the Lion King remake was calling it live action... it was made to look realistic, but it was still all animated! They really need to stay away from live actioning any mostly animal cast movies. making the animals so photo realistic takes away so much of the heart, its so hard to emotionally connect with the characters story when their facial expression permanently bland/bored.

I didn't see anything about Tantor in it, but then again I only just quickly browsed through it. Someday I'll find time to read it, lol. I'm assuming it was to avoid making an elephant. Would have been neat to see if they had, or maybe they could have made him a different non-gorilla animal (kind of like how the baboons became a giant spider). I'm thinking their focus was too much on the main "wow factor" of the show... the vine swinging/gymnastic elements.

[scarlethyena]

Y'know, on the one hand I'm glad they didn't whitewash the live action atla again and I'm sure it'll be better than the previous movie (not really a high bar but still) but on the other hand I'm just not excited for it? Idk, unless you're giving it another interpretation that's interesting enough to warrant an adaptation in a different medium, a lot of live action remakes feel pointless. It's also symptomatic of this thinking that like, animation is for kids and somehow a lesser art-form, which tends to justify the existence of these types of adaptations (and yeah obviously atla is a kids show but my point is that relegating animation to a specific audience has led to this view that animation is less flexible than it actually is).

Don't get me wrong, maybe they'll actually make something good and add a different spin on the story/characters. Who knows. I'm just...tired of live action remakes. I didn't like em to begin with and studios keep making them.